As time goes by....

 I've never been one who was prone to idealize romanticism.  As anyone who has read my previous posts knows, I'm not a very romantic person.  At least not stereotypically romantic.  I can do without the flowers, the poems, the sappy movies, blah blah blah.  That's just not my style.  When I would daydream about being in love it was more about someone 'getting' my jokes, or understanding my oddball references.  Never have I fantasized about being swept off my feet by the prince, charging in on his white steed.  My version of a fairy tale has always been something more along the lines of cuddling on the couch with my guy, watching Office Space while quoting lines and laughing.  For me, the deep, satisfying closeness of a well developed rapport is far more attractive than the butterflies one experiences during the early days of a relationship.

I find it interesting, however, that as we achieve the closeness and safety that comes with said rapport, we often lose the niceties and subtleties that made the beginning of the relationship enjoyable.  As we add up the months and years and finally reach the stage where we really know and deeply love someone, we begin to neglect the little things.  It's ironic isn't it?  The more you love someone, the less you are likely to do the things that were done to attract them.  Men open doors with less frequency.  Women shave their legs less often.  Compliments go by the way side.  Physical affection decreases (get your minds out of the gutter.  I'm talking hand holding, people).  As time goes by we're more inclined to let our partners see 'the real us', which, let's face it....probably isn't that great.  The real me means I have on no make-up, my hair is tied in a knot, a razor hasn't graced my skin for a few days, I'm clothed in the U of R's finest knitwear, and I'm sporting my very best worn out tennis shoes.  Does my husband love me in spite of all this...yes.  But, why should he have to?  Why should we accept a decline in effort as a natural response to closer, deeper love?  It should be the exact opposite. 

All things working as they should be, with each  page turned on a calendar (ok, I'm dating myself now.  Does anyone other than me actually use a paper calendar anymore?) we should gain more respect for, desire more love from, and display more affection towards our partners.  It's not as hard as we make it seems.  Nike says it best....Just Do It!  Pick up a Gillette, open a door and enjoy each other again.  You'll both be glad you did.