In honor of my good friend irony I have made the decision to begin this post in the most cliche way possible; I looked up the word special in the dictionary (well....the online dictionary). Special (adjective) 1. unusual or better - distinct, different, unusual, or superior in comparison to others of the same kind.
Interesting. So why do brides refer to their weddings as their 'special day?' In my experience there is very little that is actually special about a modern day wedding. Every wedding that I've been to in the last decade has been indiscernible from the next. Big, over priced white dress (more to come on that in the next post)...cookie cutter vows (yes, even the 'personalized vows' are the same old, same old).....YMCA at the reception followed by the cutting of the multi-tiered cake. Even the song for the first dance is often the same. Nothing special about that.
I'm about the biggest fan of tradition that there is but weddings seem to have crossed the line from traditional ceremonies into the land of mundane, formulaic procedures. For a wedding to sincerely be special it should reflect the beliefs, opinions and preferences of the couple (yes ladies, your husband to be should have a voice in the plans). It shouldn't be a reflection of the most recent bridal magazine. So when your number is up and you are sitting in the hot seat (otherwise known as the wedding coordinators office) I encourage you to make some decisions that will make your wedding interesting, personalized and distinctive. Make it truly yours. Just don't be one of those hippies who gets married barefoot on the beach. That's may be special but it's really annoying.
Monday, April 25, 2011
A royal sham.....
It's been almost a month since I've blogged. To make up for the gap (I know you've all been struggling to eek out some normalcy in a world without my posts) I'm going to celebrate the Royal wedding with a week of wedding related posts. Here goes:
In general I'm not the kind of parent who gets all worked up about my daughter being influenced by tv, books, movies. I take the stance that, while I am discerning about what goes into her head, my influence as a parent far outweighs what she hears and sees from other sources. I'm a pretty open and honest parent. I don't use cutesy names for anatomy, I answer questions directly (and sarcastically), etc. But one thing that I have noticed lately is how our society cultivates a little girls dream of becoming a bride....as though that is where the story ends.
Within the last 48 hours I have read over a dozen books to my daughter that close with the phrase and they lived happily ever after. At the drop of a tiara my daughter will grab anything resembling a bouquet of flowers, use a blanket as a makeshift train and play bride. Take a moment and ask the closest unmarried young woman about her wedding (whether she is engaged or not) and you'll likely get a 27 minute tutorial about flower arrangements, dress options and reception venue selection. It's insane. It seems that from the moment our girls can identify their vagina (yes, I used the real word...get over it) they've mentally begun taking their first steps down the aisle.
But do you notice how no one ever talks about their dream of being a wife? The fantasy seems to end after the 'I do'. And therein lies the problem. We don't ever hear about a young girls plans to be a supportive and productive spouse....how she has planned for every detail of her special role.....how she's prepared to spend decades as an encouraging companion. Is it more fun to be princess for a day than partner for a lifetime? Not if you ask me. It's all about perspective. There's nothing wrong with having a special day so long as it is the beginning, not the end, of your happily ever after.
In general I'm not the kind of parent who gets all worked up about my daughter being influenced by tv, books, movies. I take the stance that, while I am discerning about what goes into her head, my influence as a parent far outweighs what she hears and sees from other sources. I'm a pretty open and honest parent. I don't use cutesy names for anatomy, I answer questions directly (and sarcastically), etc. But one thing that I have noticed lately is how our society cultivates a little girls dream of becoming a bride....as though that is where the story ends.
Within the last 48 hours I have read over a dozen books to my daughter that close with the phrase and they lived happily ever after. At the drop of a tiara my daughter will grab anything resembling a bouquet of flowers, use a blanket as a makeshift train and play bride. Take a moment and ask the closest unmarried young woman about her wedding (whether she is engaged or not) and you'll likely get a 27 minute tutorial about flower arrangements, dress options and reception venue selection. It's insane. It seems that from the moment our girls can identify their vagina (yes, I used the real word...get over it) they've mentally begun taking their first steps down the aisle.
But do you notice how no one ever talks about their dream of being a wife? The fantasy seems to end after the 'I do'. And therein lies the problem. We don't ever hear about a young girls plans to be a supportive and productive spouse....how she has planned for every detail of her special role.....how she's prepared to spend decades as an encouraging companion. Is it more fun to be princess for a day than partner for a lifetime? Not if you ask me. It's all about perspective. There's nothing wrong with having a special day so long as it is the beginning, not the end, of your happily ever after.
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